CRAZY!!!!!!!!

Clear and to the point, eh?

Humor

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3. Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
11. COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
14. Sky's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
19. Poker rules supplement: A .44 Magnum beats 4 aces.
20. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
21. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
23. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
24. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
25. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
26. He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged.
27. She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
28. You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
29. I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
30. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
31. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
32. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
33. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
34. Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
35. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
36. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
37. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
38. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
39. Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

Insurance Deductibles

Auto Insurance Deductibles

Purchasing auto insurance is not simply about the value of your car or how often you get into accidents, it is also about how much money you are willing to pay for your coverage. All auto insurance policies have a deductible. The deductible is the part of your policy that you are responsible for paying. Auto insurance policies don't take care of all expenses. You are required to pay for some of the damages depending on your policy. Deductibles vary , but are most often in amounts of $100, $250, $500 or $1,000. For example, if you are in an accident that causes $2,500 worth of damage and your deductible is $500, you are required to pay the $500 and the insurance company will take care of the remaining $2,000.
When deciding what insurance policy you want to purchase, choosing a deductible is an important step. After all, you will have to pay the deductible for each and every situation in which you require your insurance company to cover damages. Deciding how much you are willing to pay and how often you think you will need to make an insurance claim will help you decide what deductible amount is right for you. In addition, the premium you pay, or the price of your total coverage annually, can be lowered by choosing a higher deductible. In other words, if you are willing to pay higher out-of-pocket costs, you can lower the total cost of your insurance.
Purchasing an auto insurance policy doesn't have to be confusing. You want a policy to take care of your expenses in the event of accident, theft, vandalism or most any other instance in which there is damage to your own or someone else's vehicle. By knowing what your state requires, what your needs are, what discounts you qualify for and how much coverage you want for your car, you will be able to choose the right policy.

Courtesy of HowStuffWorks

Bringin Auto Insurance Costs Down

Bringing the Costs Down

There are four factors that keep auto insurance rates down.
If you are looking to buy a car, consider buying a car that looks good to insurance companies. For instance, insurance companies know what kinds of cars are prone to problems. They also know what kinds of cars are most often stolen. If you haven't purchased your car yet, find out what cars make this good list among auto insurers.
Most insurance companies offer discounts for a variety of reasons - for example, good students, having more than one car insured and accident-free driving are all worth a discount. Ask insurance companies about specific discounts that may be available to you.
Consider carpooling or using public transportation to get to work. The less you use your car, the less your insurance will cost you.
Finally, drive carefully! Insurance companies are not happy to insure accident-prone drivers, so the safer you drive, the less you will have to pay for auto insurance. Don't be afraid to ask your insurance company about any discounts they offer - it could save you a little cash.

All About Auto Insurance

The Price of Auto Insurance
Several factors that affect auto insurance price. Prices vary by company and you should compare prices thoroughly before you purchase a policy. The first thing that affects your policy's price is, what kind of car you drive. For instance, a sports car costs more to insure than a family sedan. If you purchase a vehicle that has a high theft rate, your coverage will probably be more expensive. Essentially,though, your coverage will be based on the value of your car.
Another factor that affects auto insurance costs is where you live. If you live in an area where there is a high occurrence of accidents or vandalism, insurance will cost more. For instance, since more cars are damaged in urban areas than in rural areas, you will probably pay more for insurance if you live in a city.
How often you drive will also affect your insurance costs. The more you drive, the higher the chances you will be an accident. Drivers who have long-distance commutes will pay more than people who live near their workplace. Meanwhile, if you only use your car on weekends, your insurance rates should be lower than someone who commutes to work daily.
The final factors that affect the price of auto insurance have to do with who you are. Your age, sex, marital status and driving record are all taken into account when you buy an insurance policy. Accident rates are higher for drivers under the age of 25, so if you are young, expect to pay a little more. Also, accident rates are higher for young males and single males. It doesn't seem fair, but if you are an unmarried 19-year-old male, your insurance rates will definitely be affected. If your driving record is impeccable, though, your rates will be lower. Obviously, drivers who are prone to traffic violations or accidents will have to pay more for insurance than safe drivers.

Dough.

Money, basics. Got this article from some site on the Net. Will post when I get the address.

Money is a token that is widely accepted as a medium of exchange. The token can be tangible like a coin or note, or intangible like a bank deposit. If the token is convertible on demand into a valuable commodity like gold, the token is known as commodity money. The exchange value of commodity money varies, but is normally greater than its value as a commodity. A precious metal coin is simply a token potentially convertible into the bullion that comprises it.
If the tokens are intrinsically worthless and inconvertible, the government must endow them with a special status to make them viable as money. Such tokens are known as fiat money. Except for collector’s items, all government-issued tokens today are fiat money. One must therefore avoid thinking in terms of commodity money to understand modern money.
In the era of commodity money, the issuer was constrained by the need to hold a sufficient supply of the underlying commodity. There is no such constraint in the case of fiat money. The value of fiat money therefore depends on the policies and actions of the issuer, normally the central bank of a country. The remainder of this essay applies to the monetary system of the U.S. and not necessarily to other countries

Fiat Money as a Tax Credit
The general acceptance of the government’s fiat money derives from its status as legal tender and from the fact that it is required in payment of federal taxes. Those who have no tax liability have reason to acquire fiat money because it is of value to those who do. Thus fiat money can be viewed as a tax credit, which will be used as a medium of exchange as long as the government widely enforces tax collection.

Base Money
Fiat money held by the private sector is known as the monetary base, which we will refer to as base money. The Fed issues base money when it buys securities from the public for its own portfolio, mainly Treasury debt. It pays by simply creating a deposit at the Federal Reserve Bank for the seller’s own bank. This is known as monetizing the debt.

Bank Money
Banks create deposits, known as bank money, when they issue loans by simply crediting the borrower’s account with a new deposit. The total amount of bank money increases when a bank issues a loan. When a loan is paid off, that amount of bank money vanishes.
The value of bank money is based on the promise that it can be converted on demand into base money at par. Current rules require a bank to hold reserves of base money equal to at least 10% of its transaction deposits. Reserves can be held in any combination of vault cash and deposit at the Fed. There is no required reserve for other bank liabilities, such as savings accounts or certificates of deposit.

Controlling the Price of Reserves
Even if there were no reserve requirement, a bank would have to hold enough reserves at the Fed to cover its depositors' checks, and enough vault cash to meet the demand for withdrawals by depositors. The need for reserves thus creates an active interbank market in which banks lend or borrow reserves among themselves. The interest rate on these short-term transactions is called the Fed funds rate.
The Fed steers the Fed funds rate toward its target through its open market operations. These involve buying or selling securities in the open market to add or drain system reserves as needed to balance the supply and demand at its target for the Fed funds rate.
Any bank in good standing and with adequate collateral can borrow on a short-term basis at the Fed’s discount window. The interest rate the Fed charges is 100 basis points above its target rate for Fed funds. With that large a spread, the discount window is used by banks to cover temporary liquidity problems rather than as a source of reserves to back further lending.

The Fed's Reactive Role
Why does the Fed control the price of reserves rather than the quantity? The answer is that targeting the quantity risks endangering the liquidity of the banking system. For example, an increase in cash holdings by the public drains vault cash from the banking system. Unless the Fed responded by injecting reserves, one or more banks might be unable to meet either the reserve requirements or the withdrawal demands of its depositors.
Targeting the price of reserves is also more effective in controlling the volatility in the Fed funds rate, and thus the interest rate banks must charge on their loans. Firms cannot plan efficiently when the price of credit is subject to large and unpredictable variations.
As a result of the Fed’s focus on price, the bank money supply will vary with demand. It expands or contracts according to whatever factors influence private sector borrowing. Thus the Fed plays an essentially reactive role, adding or draining reserves as needed for bank liquidity and to hold the Fed funds rate on target.

Limiting Bank Lending
Since the reserve ratio requirement doesn’t really impede bank lending, what prevents a bank from responding to any and all loan demands? The answer is that every bank must also comply with an equity capital requirement. This is a complex formula that rates a bank’s assets by risk, and requires that its capital exceed a certain fraction of its risk-weighted assets.
A bank can get into trouble by creating too many assets through lending. A bank with insufficient capital relative to its assets will be placed under supervision by its regulator who may then demand to approve any new lending.

Limiting Money Supply Growth
Another important question is what limits the bank money supply from growing excessively? Banks are in the business of selling credit. If a creditworthy borrower is willing to pay the bank’s rate, the bank will normally make the loan even if it must borrow the required reserves after the fact. The only defense against the creation of an excessive supply of bank money is for the Fed to increase the price of reserves to the point that it slows net demand.
The Fed’s basic monetary policy challenge is to keep the supply of bank money in reasonable balance with the needs of producers and the availability of goods and services. That calls for a great deal of knowledge about the economy as well as skill in interpreting the data. Mismanagement of the price of reserves can readily drive the economy off track towards inflation or recession. This is a difficult task, and the Fed has made its share of mistakes over the years that are usually obvious only in retrospect.

Random Humor 4

We had a "visit" here in my house earlier this weekend from someevangelist missionaries. Not that I have anything against evangelists, but Ithink prosteltyzers rank up there with Direct Sales over the phone, thePsychic friends network, and, door-to-door, are not nearly as cute asGirl Scouts (plus, they don't have cookies).
The players:
Me, Tristan Clair de Lune, the extremely handsome, talented and witty Rialto junkie Rachyl, my girlfriend, also a Rialto reader.
Keith, (or, Phil-in-the-Blank Clair de Lune) a 6'6", 280-pound stick jock (and my brother)
My "other brother," William, a collegiate fencer, busy cooking up a Chinese banquet for my parents who were coming.

Scene: Tristan is nibbling on Rachyl's ear, washing dishes for dinner,or playing with his armor [recollections vary].

William: B! Could you come here?
Me: What is it?
William: Just come here!
Me: OK (puts down the hamster)Ken walks down the hall to see his brother and girlfriend conversing withtwo Nordic-looking, clean-cut gimp-types with name tags.
Gimp #1: Hello! My name is Todd, and I'm from the Mormon Church of Latter-Day saints.
Me: How special for you.
Gimp #2: Have you heard about the Mormons?
Me: Yes, I have. Sometime in the 19th century, some guy thought he was a prophet, went insane, moved out to Salt Lake City, got into trouble witha lot of seagulls, and, hey, y'know Roseanne Barr is from out there?
Gimp #1: So, you've heard of us?
Me (washing dishes): Yes, but we already have a religion, thank you very much. We're Jewish.
Rachyl: We rather like it...
Me: But should it ever break down, we'll be sure to call you.[Rachyl and Keith collapse laughing]Me: That reminds me... Rachyl... isn't it time to light Shabbos candles?
Rachyl: Yeah...
Me: Excuse me for a minute...[Rachyl and Keith continue to talk to the Mormons]
Me (picking up a very large sword from my bedroom wall and shouting down thehall):
RACHYL! IS IT TIME TO SACRIFICE THE GOAT YET?!?!?!?!?!?!
Rachyl: No, you have to wait until the moon comes out!

[Gimp #1 looks at Gimp #2. William continues to chop up the tofu]
Gimp #1: Excuse us. We must be going.
[Switch camera. Tristan is rooting through his closet]Gimp #2: Thankyouverymuchforyourtime...
[The Wonder Gimps turn to leave. Quickly].
Me (running from the bedroom in his black cloak, waving a large sword): CHRISTIAN BLOOD! WE NEED CHRISTIAN BLOOD!!!!
[Switch to: Benny-Hill-esque shot of Mormons running away down the drivewayof House of No X, AKA House Four Down From Ogami].
Me: Damn. We lose more Mormons that way.

Random Humor 3

From RHF:

The following is is original:This is an answer to the age-old question, "Why did the chicken cross theroad?" in the style of Herodotus (Greek historian, fifth century BC, called the Father of History, but also the Father of Lies):

Another story that is told among the Cimmerians is this, that in past times Chickens, and in particular that one Chicken, who was called Misgetomenos the son of Aidoion, were wont to cross the Road. I myself, however, having seen with my own eyes the Road of the Cimmerians, am convinced that the Road is not, and never was, crossable by Chickens, nor yet by Misgetomenos. The Road is in appearance wondrous, and unlike any other thing in the world. It is a straight, flat band, made of a material that the Cimmerians call "asphalt" (which in the Cimmerian language means, "asphalt.") It is possessed of two yellow lines, being both in the center of the band, such that the center itself is between the yellow lines, and is black. As it is wide, dirty, and not seemly in the matter of U-turns, I am of the opinion that no Chicken ever crossed it.
There are three stories which are told about Misgetomenos the son of Aidoion, of which the following is in my opinion the most probable, the others being, so it would seem, completely untrue. This is that Misgetomenos was not a Chicken at all, but rather a slave who, charged with the painting of crosswalks, was called by the name of "Tsicken," which, in the Greek language, means "chicken.
There is, however, a different tale which is told of the son of Aidoion, and this I heard from the Greeks who live in Asia. This I will recount, though I do not believe it. This is that Misgetomenos was, in fact, a Chicken; further, that he did cross the Road of the Cimmerians, simply for this reason: that he might get to the Other Side.

More About Forex Trading

Factors affecting forex Trading:

Tthough xchange rates are fx'ed by many factors, currency prices are ultimately a result of supply and demand forces. Currency markets can be viewed as a huge melting pot: in a large and ever-changing mix of current events, supply and demand factors are constantly shifting, and the price of one currency in relation to another shifts accordingly. No other market encompasses as much of what is going on in the world at any given time as forex.
Supply and demand for any given currency (and therefore its value) aren't influenced by any single element, but rather by several.

Economic factors
Include economic policy
Economic policy comprises government fiscal policy and monetary policy.

Economic conditions include:
Government budget deficits/surpluses: Market usually reacts negatively to widening government budget deficits, and positively to narrowing budget deficits. The impact is reflected in the value of a country's currency.
Balance of trade levels and trends: The trade flow between countries illustrates the demand for goods and services, which in turn indicates demand for a country's currency to conduct trade. Surpluses and deficits in trade of goods and services reflect the competitiveness of a nation's economy. For example, trade deficits may have a negative impact on a nation's currency.
Inflation levels and trends: Typically, a currency will lose value if there is a high level of inflation in the country or if inflation levels are perceived to be rising. This is because inflation erodes purchasing power, thus demand, for that particular currency. However, a currency may sometimes strengthen when inflation rises because of expectations that the central bank will raise short-term interest rates to combat rising inflation.
Economic growth and health: Reports such as gross domestic product (GDP), employment levels, retail sales, capacity utilization and others, detail the levels of a country's economi growth and health. Generally, the more healthy and robust a country's economy, the better its currency will perform, and the more demand for it there will be.

A friend of mine nearing the end of a long battle with cancer was beinginterviewed for a new experimental drug protocol and the administeringphysician was asking some probing questions about the status of his immune system:
Doctor: I can see from your chart that you aren't married. Are youinvolved in a monogamous relationship at present?Without flinching, my friend replied, "Well actually, several"

Random Humor 2

The Toronto Star has a weekly column by an attorney, consisting of humorous excerpts from court transcripts. The following appeared a few weeks ago:
In a jury trial in Battleford, Sask., a few decades back, a farmer was charged with bestiality after he became amorous with one of his cows.
The chief Crown witness, the hired man, testified that he saw his boss place a milk stool behind the cow, then stand on the stool and take liberties with the cow. Moments later, the witness said, the cow kicked over the stool and the farmer fell to the floor of the barn.
Upon hearing this, a farmer in the jury box slapped his thigh and exclaimed, "They'll do that every time!"

Random Humor

witzelsucht (vit'sel-zoocht) [Ger.]

"A mental condition characteristic of frontal lobe lesions and marked by the making of poor jokes and puns and the telling of pointless stories, at which the patient himself is intensely amused."

How To Invest In Forex

Through:
Investment Management Funds-Usually run accounts on behalf of large organizations such as pension funds and endowments.

Hedge funds
Such as George Soros' Quantum fund. Gained a reputation for aggressive currency speculation. Control billions of dollars of equity and may borrow billions more, and thus may overwhelm intervention by central banks to support almost any currency, if the economic fundamentals are in the hedge funds' favor. Sweet. New world order :-)

Retail forex brokers
2 types of retail brokers: brokers offering speculative trading and brokers offering physical delivery i.e.bought currency is delivered to a bank account.
They handle a minute fraction of the total volume of the foreign exchange market. According to CNN, one retail broker estimates retail volume at $25–50 billion daily, which is about 2% of the whole market.

Currencies are traded against one another. Each pair of currencies thus constitutes an individual product and is traditionally noted XXX/YYY, where YYY is the international three-letter code of the currency into which the price of one unit of XXX is expressed (called base currency). For instance, EUR/USD is the price of the euro expressed in US dollars, as in 1 euro = 1.3045 dollar. Out of convention, the first currency in the pair, the base currency, was the stronger currency at the creation of the pair. The second currency, counter currency, was the weaker currency at the creation of the pair.
The factors affecting XXX will affect both XXX/YYY and XXX/ZZZ. This causes positive currency correlation between XXX/YYY and XXX/ZZZ.
On the spot market, according to the BIS study, the most heavily traded products were:
EUR/USD: 28 %
USD/JPY: 18 %
GBP/USD (also called sterling or cable): 14 %
and the US currency was involved in 88.7% of transactions, followed by the euro (37.2%), the yen (20.3%), and the sterling (16.9%) . Note that volume percentages should add up to 200%: 100% for all the sellers and 100% for all the buyers.
Although trading in the euro has grown considerably since the currency's creation in January 1999, the foreign exchange market is thus far still largely dollar-centered. For instance, trading the euro versus a non-European currency ZZZ will usually involve two trades: EUR/USD and USD/ZZZ. The exception to this is EUR/JPY, which is an established traded currency pair in the interbank spot market.

Intro- Forex Trading and how to make money online

I am interested in making money. Yes. Like no one else is. So I will be posting some stuff about doing exactly that. The posts may either be fragmented or whole. Today I would like to talk about Forex(Foreign Exchange) trading. Forex trading is virtually limitless. As long as you have good internet connection and a nice seat. It can happen 24 hours a day except on weekends.

Foreign exchange market exists wherever a currency is traded for another. It is the largest financial market in the world and includes interbank trading, large banks, central banks, currency speculators, multinational corporations, governments, and other financial markets and institutions. The average daily trade in the global forex and related markets currently is over US$ 3,000,000,000. Retail traders are only a small fraction of this market and may only participate indirectly through brokers or banks, and are subject to forex scams.

The interbank market caters for both the majority of commercial turnover and large amounts of speculative trading every day. A large bank may trade billions of dollars daily. Some of this trading is undertaken on behalf of customers, but much is conducted by proprietary desks, trading for the bank's own account.
Until recently, foreign exchange brokers did large amounts of business, facilitating interbank trading and matching anonymous counterparts for small fees. Today, however, much of this business has moved on to more efficient electronic systems. The broker squawk box lets traders listen in on ongoing interbank trading and is heard in most trading rooms, but turnover is noticeably smaller than just a few years ago.

Gluteal muscles

The gluteus maximus-is the largest of the gluteal muscles.The most powerful muscle in the body. It inserts at the iliotibial band and the gluteal tuberosity of the femur. Its action is to extend and outwardly rotate hip, and extend the trunk.

Problems associated with the gluteal muscles
Sitting for long periods can lead to the gluteal muscles atrophying through constant pressure and disuse. This may be associated with (although not necessarily the cause of) lower back pain, difficulty with some movements that naturally require the gluteal muscles, such as rising from the seated position, and climbing stairs. Some attribute severe menstrual cycles including mood swings and irritability to gluteal muscle atrophy, however, there are a vast array of known contributors to dysmenorrhoea, and currently clinical evidence of such a causative association is lacking.
The bulk of the gluteal muscle mass contributes only partially to shape of the buttocks. The other major contributing factor is that of the panniculus adiposus of the buttocks, which is very well developed in this area, and gives the buttock its characteristic rounded shape. Although the gluteal muscle bulk and tone can be improved with massage and exercise, it is the disposition of the overlying panniculus adiposus which may be responsible for the "sagging butt" phenomenon.
Treatment
Studies have shown that exercise and massage are effective at reversing and protecting against atrophy of these muscles. Poisoning by eating Lathyrus sativus Indian Pea or khesari dhal will lead to emaciation of Buttock muscles.Lathyrus Sativus. Neurolathyrism. Homeopathy Repertory.

Exercise and stretching
Any exercise that works and/or stetches the buttocks is suitable, for example lunges, climbing stairs, fencing, bicycling, squats, arabesque, aerobics, and various specific exercises for the bottom.
Powerlifting exercises which are known to significantly strengthen the gluteal muscles include the squat and the deadlift. Another weight training exercise involving the glutes is the leg press.

Massage
Gluteal exercise and stretching must be accompanied by therapeutic massage both in the relaxed muscle condition and during the neuron firing of muscle flexing and stretching. In order to properly restore the gluteal muscle group, the first step is to relax the entire neck, shoulders, arms and back region with massage. Once the patient's upper body is relaxed, effleurage (light but thorough stroking with fingers and palms) of the top, middle, bottom and side portions of the gluteal muscles (entire buttock and top thigh areas) is used to initiate the gluteal muscle group massage while the buttocks are in the relaxed condition with the patient lying face down with the hips slightly elevated, a pillow having been placed under the pelvis. The purpose of the effleurage is to fire the neurons near the surface of the muscle group. Attention should also be given to the gluteal fold, the crease where buttocks meet thighs, as this is a sensitive area where major muscles are joined.
At least 10 minutes of effleurage should be used before moving to a deeper muscle massage... but only as the muscles loosen sufficiently. The top, middle and bottom areas of the buttocks as well as the tops and all sides of the thighs are massaged with increasing firmness in order to stimulate the neurons deeply embedded within the muscle group. Liberal amounts of massage lotion should be used as this area can require very deep massage as the muscles loosen and permit it.
Some massage schools reportedly teach the use of the double handed repetitive "chop" alternating with slapping of the maximus area. The chop fires the deeply embedded neurons while the slap fires the surface neurons. If this is done while the patient is alternately flexing and relaxing, the result is almost total neuron firing and should be followed up with additional effleurage to totally relax the muscle group. Obviously communication between therapist and patient is important at this stage.
Attention should be given to the gluteal fold with increasing pressure. This being a sensitve area, the therapist should communicate freely with the patient to determine the proper amount of pressure needed to relax these muscles. The therapist can simultaneously use both of his or her thumbs beginning in the middle where the thighs and buttocks meet, and slowing moving the thumbs outward and around the tops of the thighs to eventually use the fingers to massage the fold where thigh meets abdomen (another area where muscles are joined).
The two massage regimes (effleurage and deep muscle massage) are then repeated with the gluteal muscle group in the process of active neuron firing. That is, the areas should be massaged while the patient is actually performing the various exercises and stretches outlined above as well as others tailored by the therapist. It is reported that this results in exterior and interior neuron firing in such a way that the entire muscle group's shape, tension and overall health is restored rapidly. A weekly cycle of massage is required to achieve good results.

La Post Uno

So. Being the savvy fellow that I(presume) I am, I have decided to start blogging. Now. I don't know how to go about this since I don't even keep a dictionary, but yes, I will try. Life goes on. Most of my posts will be medical stuff- personal stuff is coming soon. So till then...